Two Suns in the Sunset

September 16, 2008 at 5:03 pm | Posted in Musing + Mulling, Randomosities + Rubbish | 1 Comment
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Crowded spaces. Bright lights. Sounds.
Hollowness. Filled to the brim.

The skies bend over and the ground falls away. It’s not that the pain isn’t there. Just that it doesn’t sting anymore.

Fairy tales aren’t meant to be real. It is cruel to compare them with reality.
Reality isn’t always kind.

‘No, I’m fine.’ Why do you ask? You don’t want the answer any more than I want to give it.

I could walk away. But what are you running from?

Tears aren’t ugly. Denial is.

Solitude is company enough.

I don’t ask for much. Stories I can wander in. A song I can listen and fall asleep to.

A golden ocean of grass in the sun. A blue river of dreams. A green canvas of hope. And an endless, selfless beautiful sky, sky of starry nights, sky of warm clouds, sky of splashes of colours, sky of sapphires and rubies.

Dreams can sometimes be all that you have. And yet if you have nothing else but them, you have the biggest wealth of all.

How do you decide what you want?

Sometimes, the best thing you can do to erase the pain, escape the regrets, forget the moment – is to sing.

Why do the stars shine?
Why do I hold back?
Do the answers always lie beyond reach
Or do you create them yourself?


When I Don’t Get What I Want

January 2, 2008 at 5:30 pm | Posted in Life as I See It | 3 Comments
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…I get frenzied, restless, agitated.

Even when I know I shouldn’t.

I know I’m not the only one, of course. Most of the people do get frustrated easily when they don’t get what they want. But why? Is it because you can’t bear to stand the wait? When I know I’m going to get it eventually, why do I get so worked up about it? It seems pointless. More so when you count the fact that ‘getting worked up’ in my case is usually in the extreme. Temper and panic and restlessness. The constant yearning. The continuous reminder that I don’t have what I want. The dissatisfaction.

The worst part is, my dissatisfaction creeps into everything else in my daily life too. I get rude and snappy (more than usual), mess things up, and end up having that awful feeling of failure when I go to bed at night. I don’t want it. I don’t like it.

What do I do?

Cultivate patience? Tried that a dozen times already. Doesn’t work with me. Patience is one thing I’ll never have. It’s not that it’s just it in my head, I really can’t get much far however much I try. Perhaps my mind is so conditioned to get what I desire instantly that I can’t bear the wait?

Or is it something else?

Expectation. Endless expectation. Hoping, waiting, wanting. What if I just kill the desire? I kill the expectation and subsequently, the agitation. Or just, divert my mind somewhere else, and try not to think about it? But hang on, isn’t that just what patience is? And now I’m getting tangled up.

I found the following excerpt from The Ten Rules of Happiness highly comforting.

Take life easy and do not be judgemental of others, and yourself too. The world will not come to an end if you don’t get what you want right now. Most of the things are not so important that they cannot wait or be altered if required. And nothing is so helpless that it cannot be improved or solved. Never let small things bother you and never bother with small things. Remember, life is precious; it is to be enjoyed, not endured. It is not a competition, but a beautiful journey. And we are here to make our contribution, lighten someone else’s burden if we can, spread happiness and be happy.

It speaks out to me. As if it was especially written for me. Just how silly can I be? Letting stupid things upset me. I might be impatient, but this is just being silly as well. Honestly, I should try being patient some more. I mean, it’s either the temporary wait or the permanent abandonment of the desire, isnt it?

I’ll take the wait. :D

Now playing: My Dying Bride – My Wine in Silence
via FoxyTunes

‘More Real Than Reality’

December 22, 2007 at 7:58 pm | Posted in Musing + Mulling | Leave a comment
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I of course haven’t experienced blindness; but it has always intrigued me.
How does a normal-turned blind person differ from a person who’s born blind? How does the latter perceive the notion of colour? Well, more importantly, what IS blindness? Not as a physical disability, but as a state of mind? The absence of vision, colour, light -what? Or simply the inability to see what’s going on in the world round you? But then, is it not possible for a blind person to imagine these things?

In some cases blindness, instead of proving a frustrating handicap, has actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise for the human imagination. There have been such reports in the past, where visually challenged people have experienced ‘seeing’ things – and the experience is staggering. Somehow, things seem ‘more real than reality’. One bloke relates how, after he turned blind because of an accident, suddenly found himself composing poems, when he hadn’t had any flair for poetry before. People have reported about how blindness suddenly opened up whole new worlds for the imagination.
But the question is, do they ‘see’ things or ‘imagine’ them? Or are they, in this case, one and the same?

Does the absence of vision – a physical phenomenon of the body – affect the mental constitution? In what ways? Does your imagination evolve? Ironic, isn’t it, that we generally consider it true that whatever we see in our daily lives triggers off the imagination; and then there’s this truth about blindness being a sort of ‘internal’ inspiration as opposed to vision being an ‘external’ imagination?

What does colour mean to a to a blind person? Colour is something so intimately associated with sight, but we know that we are able to visualise those colours in our minds. We can easily imagine what red looks like, or blue or black…but then does a blind person imagine them too? In our daily lives we can easily talk about the whole concept of colours because we have two very important tools at our disposal: sight and language. Anyone who’s capable of sight and understands your language will have no difficulty in understanding you if you made reference to a particular colour.

But what about a person who’s born blind? Here, language fails us. I think such people do experience colour; but we can’t understand their ideas about colour – and nor can they ours, because language, something that bridges the gap between perceiving and conveying – cannot be taken as a common ground for both the parties. They might know what red is, but not that it’s called red.

I think the most obvious and most frustrating gap between the blind and the normals is language. But if such people are exposed to the right tools, it can be a whole lot of easier to deal with problems. I have read about blind people being successful doctors, teachers and what not. It’s amazing really. With the love and support of family and friends, they’re brought up to believe that blindness is no great tragedy – just an exasperating bother; and that they can do whatever normal people can.

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