When I Don’t Get What I Want

January 2, 2008 at 5:30 pm | Posted in Life as I See It | 3 Comments
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…I get frenzied, restless, agitated.

Even when I know I shouldn’t.

I know I’m not the only one, of course. Most of the people do get frustrated easily when they don’t get what they want. But why? Is it because you can’t bear to stand the wait? When I know I’m going to get it eventually, why do I get so worked up about it? It seems pointless. More so when you count the fact that ‘getting worked up’ in my case is usually in the extreme. Temper and panic and restlessness. The constant yearning. The continuous reminder that I don’t have what I want. The dissatisfaction.

The worst part is, my dissatisfaction creeps into everything else in my daily life too. I get rude and snappy (more than usual), mess things up, and end up having that awful feeling of failure when I go to bed at night. I don’t want it. I don’t like it.

What do I do?

Cultivate patience? Tried that a dozen times already. Doesn’t work with me. Patience is one thing I’ll never have. It’s not that it’s just it in my head, I really can’t get much far however much I try. Perhaps my mind is so conditioned to get what I desire instantly that I can’t bear the wait?

Or is it something else?

Expectation. Endless expectation. Hoping, waiting, wanting. What if I just kill the desire? I kill the expectation and subsequently, the agitation. Or just, divert my mind somewhere else, and try not to think about it? But hang on, isn’t that just what patience is? And now I’m getting tangled up.

I found the following excerpt from The Ten Rules of Happiness highly comforting.

Take life easy and do not be judgemental of others, and yourself too. The world will not come to an end if you don’t get what you want right now. Most of the things are not so important that they cannot wait or be altered if required. And nothing is so helpless that it cannot be improved or solved. Never let small things bother you and never bother with small things. Remember, life is precious; it is to be enjoyed, not endured. It is not a competition, but a beautiful journey. And we are here to make our contribution, lighten someone else’s burden if we can, spread happiness and be happy.

It speaks out to me. As if it was especially written for me. Just how silly can I be? Letting stupid things upset me. I might be impatient, but this is just being silly as well. Honestly, I should try being patient some more. I mean, it’s either the temporary wait or the permanent abandonment of the desire, isnt it?

I’ll take the wait. :D

Now playing: My Dying Bride – My Wine in Silence
via FoxyTunes



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  1. Wow..I am the same way. It is the single most issue keeping me from being happy. I hate how it overtakes my life. I just wish i wouldnt care so much. Its nice to know im not the only one!

  2. Thanks for the comment on my blog this morning. I think we all feel this way often. It takes a lot of work to stay calm and not get agitated. Our society is non-stop, fast paced, and we have grown up in a world where many of us have enjoyed relatively instant gratification.

    What has worked for me is remembering how much I have compared to many other people, saying sorry a lot when I fail in my patience with others, and using affirmations and other tools to recondition my mind to enjoy the here and now.

    For me at least, my frustration comes when I am focused on some other time some other place. It’s not really the line at the grocery store that is frustrating me. It’s the fact that it is going to make me late for work and what will my boss say? I run that whole scenario, which often doesn’t even wind up happening, through my mind and my agitation increases.

    If I just stay here and now…read the stupid, often humorous, headlines on the gossip papers…I can smile and enjoy right now.

    It’s all easier said than done, but it is possible to get some relief. That way you can go to bed at night feeling good.

  3. @Jesse: haha, good to see someone else apart from myself too :]
    @Ray: thank you for the great advice!

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